Dating Tip Tuesday: How To Turn A First Date, Into A Second

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The only thing better than a first date, is a second one. However, turning a first date into a second date can, at times, be difficult. Connection aren’t always mutual, schedules don’t always synch and some people just aren’t as well intentioned as others. However, if you’ve just had an amazing first date and you’re adamant about seeing that potentially special someone again, here are three easy ways you can turn that first date, into date number two.

Follow Up Like A Boss

Don’t be afraid to be the first to reach out. There’s no reason why you should adhere to an aging social standard that says the man should be the one to call, and you definitely don’t need to follow some fictitious rule like “wait three days”. If you like them and want to see them again, let them know! It’s honestly that simple.

Call, Don’t Text

We understand that technology has dictated how we interact with one another, but a call is more meaningful than a text message. It just, well, is. If you feel uncomfortable calling, we understand and maybe, for you, text messaging is the way to go. But if you think you can stomach an actual phone call, do it. The fact that you made the time to speak into a phone and hear their voice on the other end, won’t go unnoticed.

Be Flexible 

If you want to see someone again, then you need to make it a priority. Securing a second date is the start of compromise; the very compromise you would have to uphold when in a long-term relationship. So don’t be surprised if seeing your date again would mean moving your schedule around or pulling an all-nighter one day a week for work. When you’re beginning to engage in a relationship, it’s important to remember that you’re not the only one involved.

At the end of the day, how your first date is going to dictate whether or not it turns into a second, but there are things you can do after your date is over to help ensure that you see that person again. It’s all about continuously engaging, being honest, and having the courage to put yourself out there.

Happy Dating!

-Your It’s Just Lunch Seattle Matchmakers,

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Feedback Friday

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This week’s Feedback Friday is from an IJL Seattle client who just had her first date. She had initially been very hesitant about dating, as investing in your dating life can come with its own reservations and insecurities. This was her experience with her first match:

“It went very well! He is very intelligent and interesting. You can tell he is very talented and good at what he does in his career. I enjoyed that our conversation flowed well and there was an even balance of give and take. He’s already called me and we plan to go out again this weekend!”

-IJL Seattle female client, age 32

Sometimes the hardest part is just starting, but you’ll never see what’s out there for you if you don’t give it a try! We’re happy she took the plunge and had a great first date. We’re looking forward to creating more opportunity for her and seeing where this experience takes her!

Happy Dating!

-Your It’s Just Lunch Seattle Matchmaker,

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Signature-Kayla(White)

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Feedback Friday

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Today’s Feedback Friday is from an IJL Seattle client who just had her third date with a client we recently matched her with. This is what she had to say for her update:

“I am SO into him. I couldn’t be happier with how things are going. We have so much in common and get along really well. For our third date he picked me up and took me to a surprise activity! I was so flattered that he took the time to make our date so thoughtful and creative. I can’t wait to see where this might go!”

-IJL Seattle female client, age 49

It can be difficult to tell after a first date if the connection potential is there, but we’re happy to hear things are progressing well with this new couple and look forward to future updates!

Happy dating!

-Your It’s Just Lunch Seattle Matchmaker,

Kayla 2015

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Fall Second Date Ideas

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Fall and the holidays are the most romantic times of the year. This time makes us think about cozying up from the chill in the air, comfy sweaters, pumpkin spice anything and enjoying a warm fire. There are also plenty of date ideas to try in the fall, sometimes you just have to get creative and put in a little extra effort. Try some of these second date ideas for some fabulous fall fun:

Football Game

Fall is all about football – it brings excitement and makes it easier for romance to bloom. Being at a game together gives you the comfortable side-by-side position offered on a movie date, but gives you the opportunity to interact, chat and cheer on your team. You can still work on getting to know each other in a fun environment, and conversation will never be tough since there’s always something happening on the field. Touchdown!

Haunted Attractions

Ghost tours, haunted houses and spookiness aren’t just for Halloween. Check tour schedules and plan ahead as many attractions fill up fast. Doing something a little scary makes your brain release dopamine, and researchers have found that this neurochemical will make you feel more attached and attracted to your date.  This will most likely lead to a third date to experience more together.

Apple Orchard/Farm 

Don’t worry about missing pumpkin patches and corn mazes already.  Take advantage of exploring an apple cider mill and/or farm for this casual afternoon date. You can become a cider expert watching how the cider is made, sipping on samples, apple picking, browsing the store and leaving with treats (think apple fritter donut – YUM).  Also, it’s so fun to pick apples at an orchard. You can always be super ambitious and turn them into an apple pie. You will leave this date feeling romantic and healthy!

Cooking Class

Take a cooking class together for your second date. This is interactive, fun and you will learn a lot. Then you can talk future planning and put what you learned to the test on another date. Indulge in seasonal ingredients, stroll through a farmers market or store and cook dinner together for one of your future dates. You will look back at the tips you learned from the cooking class and find it hard to believe that was only the second date with how things are progressing now.

Wine Tasting  

The sun doesn’t have to be shining for you to enjoy wine tasting. Spend an afternoon together sipping wine at a winery, chatting, snacking on cheese and learning about different wines. Guaranteed you will learn a lot more than just different wines – you will learn more about your date in a fun and relaxing environment. Cheers!

Happy Dating!

-Your It’s Just Lunch Seattle Matchmaker,

Taylor Name

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Feedback Friday

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Today’s Feedback Friday is from an IJL Seattle male client who feels like he just won the lottery with his past match. Here’s what he shared with us:

“Wow. Just wow. She couldn’t be more perfect for me. She was cute, intelligent, down to earth and so much fun to talk to. She was genuinely engaged in the conversation and I felt like she truly wanted to get to know me. Best date I’ve had in a long time. I got her number and we’ve been talking since!”

-IJL Seattle male client, age 35

There really isn’t a better feeling in the world, than knowing that we helped someone find their person. To hear his excitement is to know that we’ve done our job in finding and found him his match! We wish this happy new couple all the best!

Happy Dating!

-Your It’s Just Lunch Seattle Matchmaker,

Kayla 2015

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Staff Obsessions: The Best Vegan Restaurants in Seattle

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Whether you are a vegan for moral or health reasons, here are some of the most crave-able, totally amazing vegan dishes in Seattle. Just because you have chosen to avoid meat and meat-associated foods, does not mean you have to give up all delicious foods in the process. And even if you aren’t a vegan, and you are going for the sake of your date, you are guaranteed to find something you will love too!

Cafe Flora

Café Flora is known for its great brunches- full of comfort dishes that are naturally vegan (try the cornmeal waffles with strawberries and basil) or easily vegan-ized (try subbing tofu for eggs in their famous scrambles). Then, of course you must try the vegan cinnamon roll, which is serious business: think nutty, sticky, crunchy, and served fresh from the oven. YUM! Share it with your date over a mimosa or bloody mary and a bowl of fruit. It’s the perfect brunch for those who are craving sweetness.

Wayward Vegan Cafe

Wayward Café has it all- outstanding pancakes (try the banana and chocolate chip), and a whipped cream that tastes just like the real thing. They also have incredible vegan biscuits and gravy that is a treat. But the dish that is at the top of the list is the Mac Daddy (two no-beef patties, house made Reuben sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, and even the crucial middle bun layer), which is comparable to the Big Mac but so much better for you! You won’t feel the guilt from the Mac Daddy, but that is if you can fit it in your mouth…Realistically, it has about as much meat as an actual Big Mac! Also, you and your date can sip on the $6 mimosas on tap, they are delicious!

Cafe Pettirosso

Good luck to Pettirosso, keeping this “secret family recipe” on the down low, because the first bite of this mac-n-cheese makes you want to ask all ingredients to attempt to replicate it on your own. What are the secrets and how is it vegan? We don’t know Shawn’s secrets, but all we know is it is unbelievable! Shawn’s Vegan Mac has that perfect crunchy layer on top, and creamy on the inside: it is a little spicy, a little smoky, and will make you want to come back for more!

Violet Sweet Shoppe

Whatever the Violet Sweet Shoppe is doing, sure makes them a winner.  The chocolate chip cookies are actually addictive to vegans, and anyone else who tastes them- even that friend who criticizes you saying all vegan food taste like blah (dirt). This bakery is a treat to take your special date, it is a victory for all, and you will leave craving the incredibly irresistible 100% vegan-friendly desserts and candies.

Plum Bistro 

Plum Bistro has a very impressive menu- you will have a hard time deciding what to order! Everything from the décor to the service to the amazing menu is on point. If you are looking for a fully vegan experience that doesn’t skip on flavor, this is your place! Try the favorite, “Mac and Yeese”, it is way more delicious and creamy than you could ever imagine. This place is worth the wait, the organic and sustainable vegan dishes are beyond brilliant.

Have you been to any of the above restaurants? If so, let us know what you thought in the comment section below!

Happy Dating (and eating)!

-Your It’s Just Lunch Seattle Matchmaker,

Taylor Name

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Dating Tip Tuesday: Should You Date Your Ex Again?

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It seems like a pretty straight forward question with a very straight forward answer, but dating is complicated; especially when you’re thinking about dating your ex.

Perhaps you’ve been on a few dates and you failed to find the connection you were looking for. Maybe, for lack of a better term, you just miss them. With the Holiday Season basically here and family functions and work parties to attend, this time of year and get lonely and looking backwards can seem like a positive, forward move.

Just like with any dating scenario, there is never a black or white, right or wrong answer to anything. People are complex and complicated, just like dating, so what works for one couple may not work for another. What one person might find attractive, another may consider a turn off.

So, while we don’t like working with platitudes, we can tell you that dating an ex is risky business. VERY risky business. So before you decide to pull someone out of your past, answer these questions first:

Why Did You Break Up?

This is a big one. If there were fundamental – and ultimately fatal -flaws in your relationship that time has somehow smoothed over, going back for round two won’t change them. Yes, people do grow and evolve, but that doesn’t mean that two people who didn’t work, can suddenly work. It is very rare, to say the least. So if you think about the reasons you broke up with your ex and you put the majority of the blame on them, why would you want to go back to them anyway? Nostalgia is a tricky thing, and can make even the worst of times seem happy and pleasurable.

If they were relatively minor things or, most importantly, you’re willing to forgive AND forget, then perhaps a second shot at the dating title isn’t a bad idea. Just be honest with yourself, and be honest when reviewing your past relationship and the reasons why it didn’t work.

Is This Just A Booty Call? 

We understand being lonely, and we definitely understand wanting to fill that loneliness with someone you know and someone you’re relatively comfortable with. But digging at an old wound just so you feel something isn’t healthy, for either one of you. Take the time to really evaluate why you miss them. Is it who they are as a person, and the way they made you feel outside of the bedroom? Or, is it because having someone to sleep next to when the nights are cold is a pretty great thing?

Is This A Rebound? 

Are you thinking about your ex because a recent fling or potential relationship didn’t pan out? If so, this is more about self-preservation and a potential ego boost, than it is about really and truly wanting to make a committed relationship work with someone. Again (and yes, it is definitely worth repeating) you want to be honest with yourself about why you feel the need to try again.

How Will This Time Be Different? 

Unless you can clearly state all the ways that you (and your ex) won’t fall back into the same old, bad habits that lead to a break up in the first place, revisiting your relationship won’t be worth it. You know the saying: The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results. People aren’t above change and evolving into better version of themselves, but that does require work and a plan of action. It is easy to fall back into old routines that may have been more hurtful than helpful.

Like we said at the beginning, there’s no “right” or “wrong” answer to, well, any dating question. Perhaps dating your ex again is the right idea. Maybe it’s a horrible idea. The only one who can know for sure is you, but that requires an acute and honest knowledge of yourself and your past relationship. If you can look at the past without rose colored glasses, you’re in a good spot to be able to decide if giving it another go, is right for you.

Happy Dating!

-Your It’s Just Lunch Seattle Matchmakers,

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Did you agree with our matchmakers? Have you dated an ex more than once? If so, let us know in the comments below! We’d love to hear your thoughts and have you share your stories!

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