Dating Tip Tuesday: 5 Ways To Treat Yo Self

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When you’re actively dating, it can be easy to forget about yourself and focus on the people you’re spending time with. Whether you’re playing the field and focused on a few lucky individuals, or you’ve found someone potentially special and you’re giving them your undivided attention; you still need to make sure that, at least once a day, you’re doing something just for you.

Self-care and personal attention are essential at any moment in your life, but especially when you’re putting yourself out there in exciting, sometimes-stressful, potentially painfully but usually fun situations (called dates). If you don’t want to completely drain yourself and grow tired of the dating scene before you find what you’re looking for, here are a few ways to treat yo self, because you should never stop dating yourself.

Take Yourself To Dinner And A Movie: Eating a meal by yourself and enjoying a film without someone whispering in your ear can be so relaxing. Spend some quality time with you, reading a book while you enjoy a nice meal or simply sitting in a restaurant and taking in the ambiance.

Buy That Thing You’ve Been Wanting: Hey, you work hard and you’re probably spending money on other people (i.e. dinner dates, etc) so why not spend some money on yourself, too? I am not suggesting you go completely off the rails and blow a paycheck in an afternoon, but take yourself shopping and buy yourself something that will make you feel sexy and confident on your next date.

Go To The Spa: We just have three words for you: Hot. Rock. Massage.

Invest In A New Look: Sometimes, there isn’t anything that can make you feel more fierce and fabulous than a new haircut and/or hair color. Why not do something a little out of the box, and change up your look so that you can feel new, fresh and rejuvenated? We can guarantee you, it will help boost your self-confidence and make you feel like a new, more-improved you.

Don’t Be Afraid To Do Nothing: R.E.L.A.X. Relax. The world is stressful and life is busy so hey, take a weekend to turn off your phone, stay far away from your computer, sit on your couch in your most comfortable and clothes and do nothing but watch Netflix. Sometimes, the best thing you can do for yourself, is nothing at all.

Don’t forget, no matter how often your dating or how excited you are about a potential date, you should never stop dating yourself. After all, no one should love you as much as you do.

Happy Dating!

-Your It’s Just Lunch Seattle Matchmakers,

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What do you think about our Professional Matchmakers’ advice? How do you choose to “Treat Yo Self” during the week or weekends? Let us know in the comment section below!

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Dating Tip Tuesday: There’s No Such Thing As “Ready”

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It’s a very common and (honestly) overused excuse as to why someone doesn’t want to get back into the dating game.

I’m just not ready. 

Sometimes, of course, this is true. It’s important to be honest with yourself, and examine your emotional and mental state before putting yourself (and others) in a potentially romantic situation. Dating is an investment, and if your head isn’t in the right place, that investment will never be fruitful. So if you’re fresh off a painful break up or going through a divorce, saying you’re not ready for dating is probably (almost definitely) an honest and truthful statement.

But then there are the other times. The times that people would rather sit at home and binge watch favorite television shows on Netflix, instead of taking a risk and meeting new people. When they look for even the slightest “problem” to point at and use as a reason why they don’t want to try their hand at dating at all. And when those people claim they’re not ready, they’re really just not willing.

Because the truth is, there’s really no such thing as completely and totally “ready”. That’s a fictitious concept, that was created so we can try to feel like we have 100% control of every situation.

But, of course, we don’t. In fact, we never will.

And dating is one of those situations where we can only do so much before fate or chance or some other powerful force, takes over. So just because you don’t feel completely and totally comfortable, doesn’t mean that dating is a thing you should continue to put off. Give yourself the freedom to reach outside of your comfort zone. Don’t wait for the “perfect” situation to take a chance on someone. The good things in life usually happen to us when we don’t consider ourselves completely “ready”, so don’t hold yourself back because the unknown is scary.

We guarantee you, even if you think you’re ready for love, the feelings you’ll experience and the life-changing person you’ll one day call your own, will be everything you couldn’t have possibly prepared yourself for.

Happy Dating!

-Your It’s Just Lunch Seattle Matchmakers,

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Do you agree with our Matchmakers? Do you ever feel “ready” for dating? Did you feel ready when you started dating recently? Let us know in the comment section! 

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Feedback Friday

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Today’s Feedback Friday is from an IJL Seattle female client who our Executive Matchmaker, Sara, met with last week. After her interview, she sent Sara this email:

“It was a pleasure meeting you this past Friday. Thank you for making this process fun and instantly eliminating the awkwardness and uneasiness that I brought with me. Your upbeat, positive, and welcoming nature made our meeting soo much less overwhelming than I could have ever anticipated. Your staff is amazing too. They made me feel right at home with the coffee they brought me and the genuine conversations they had with me. I am extremely excited to see where this relationship takes us. I look forward to hearing from you.”

-IJL Seattle female client, age 30

Dating can be very emotional, so making clients feel comfortable and excited about this process is a priority for our team. We’re looking forward to matching her and seeing who she connects with!

Happy Dating!

-Your It’s Just Lunch Seattle Matchmaker,

Kayla 2015

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IJL Seattle Executive Matchmaker, Sara French, Introduces Our Bachelor of the Month

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In honor of celebrating Veteran’s Day this month, I would like to introduce you to our Bachelor of the Month.

This loving, driven and dedicated father was Active Duty in the Navy for over 20 years. Thank you for your service! He is 6’0” tall with brown eyes and salt and pepper hair. He has broad shoulders and a great build. He is widowed with 3 children and manages to balance his career as a Logistics Specialist and time with his children. What stood out to me when I met with our Bachelor is his genuine spirit and love of life. He is looking for a woman that is affectionate, confident and family oriented!

Cheers to finding him a great match this Holiday Season!

-Your It’s Just Lunch Seattle Matchmaker,

sara 2015

Matchmakingprofessional

 

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Fall Second Date Ideas

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Fall and the holidays are the most romantic times of the year. This time makes us think about cozying up from the chill in the air, comfy sweaters, pumpkin spice anything and enjoying a warm fire. There are also plenty of date ideas to try in the fall, sometimes you just have to get creative and put in a little extra effort. Try some of these second date ideas for some fabulous fall fun:

Football Game

Fall is all about football – it brings excitement and makes it easier for romance to bloom. Being at a game together gives you the comfortable side-by-side position offered on a movie date, but gives you the opportunity to interact, chat and cheer on your team. You can still work on getting to know each other in a fun environment, and conversation will never be tough since there’s always something happening on the field. Touchdown!

Haunted Attractions

Ghost tours, haunted houses and spookiness aren’t just for Halloween. Check tour schedules and plan ahead as many attractions fill up fast. Doing something a little scary makes your brain release dopamine, and researchers have found that this neurochemical will make you feel more attached and attracted to your date.  This will most likely lead to a third date to experience more together.

Apple Orchard/Farm 

Don’t worry about missing pumpkin patches and corn mazes already.  Take advantage of exploring an apple cider mill and/or farm for this casual afternoon date. You can become a cider expert watching how the cider is made, sipping on samples, apple picking, browsing the store and leaving with treats (think apple fritter donut – YUM).  Also, it’s so fun to pick apples at an orchard. You can always be super ambitious and turn them into an apple pie. You will leave this date feeling romantic and healthy!

Cooking Class

Take a cooking class together for your second date. This is interactive, fun and you will learn a lot. Then you can talk future planning and put what you learned to the test on another date. Indulge in seasonal ingredients, stroll through a farmers market or store and cook dinner together for one of your future dates. You will look back at the tips you learned from the cooking class and find it hard to believe that was only the second date with how things are progressing now.

Wine Tasting  

The sun doesn’t have to be shining for you to enjoy wine tasting. Spend an afternoon together sipping wine at a winery, chatting, snacking on cheese and learning about different wines. Guaranteed you will learn a lot more than just different wines – you will learn more about your date in a fun and relaxing environment. Cheers!

Happy Dating!

-Your It’s Just Lunch Seattle Matchmaker,

Taylor Name

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Date Attire For Fall

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The season of sweaters is here, and with it comes endless choices of comfy, cute and super stylish fall date outfits. For a day date that involves an activity, I suggest a cuddly and warm ensemble, such as leggings, boots, and an oversized knit sweater. You will look super cute, low key and simple – like you aren’t trying too hard. You can easily accessorize with a knitted infinity scarf and rose-gold watch to dress it up!

Another option is a chambray shirt and a pair of black jeans with tan booties. You can add a pop of color layered under your chambray to spice up your low key outfit. Add a suede or leather jacket and you have a perfect mix of comfortable meets trendy.

Keep your ensemble casual and put-together for some quality handholding by pairing cool patchwork or distressed denims with a crisp pastel topcoat, cross body bag and cute slip-ons.

Try burgundy booties, a pair of distressed boyfriend jeans and a vintage inspired collared sweater. Pair with a scarf or cardigan and you will be layered to perfection.

For a casual evening date, dress warmly and also style-savvy. Try that adorable pea coat you have been waiting to wear – and pair with colorful skinny jeans, a cute chiffon blouse and riding boots.

Keep your outfit playing on fashion-forward chillness with a pencil skirt with textured beaded overlay. Mix with sporty pieces, like a crewneck sweatshirt that you can accessories with layered necklaces.

Slip into a loose-fit pair of boyfriend jeans and a floral top for a flirty meets tomboy mix, and drape a bright moto jacket over your shoulders with a cross body bag.

Top a dress and tights with a motorcycle jacket for a look that’s edgy but still sweet.

Dress it up – try a slightly sheer, multi-color dress, paired with heels, shiny accessories, and a clutch.

Happy Dating!

-Your It’s Just Lunch Seattle Matchmaker,

Taylor Name

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Diary Of A Dating Diva: Why You Should Be Thankful For Dating This Thanksgiving

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The holiday season is a time of reflection and thankfulness. As another year comes to a close, it’s easy to look back and be grateful for the good things that happened: a new love interest, a job promotion, health, and happiness.

But what about the bad stuff?

I know, I know. It’s difficult to be appreciative of the things that cause pain and embarrassment. But if you really take a step back and evaluate your past, you’ll notice that it’s the times when things didn’t work out, that taught you the most. It’s heartache, that reinforces our hearts for love. It’s pain, that makes us ready for complete happiness.

So when you’re sitting around the Thanksgiving dinner table this year, make sure to take a moment and be thankful for all the relationships that didn’t work out. Be thankful for all the bad dates and the awkward situations and the romantic blunders. Because while they might have hurt and definitely weren’t enjoyable, they are preparing you for something bigger and better.

Still don’t believe me? Hey, I get it. I’ve been where you’ve been. I’ve spent many a holiday season alone, bitter and unhappy about the failed relationships I’ve experienced. But now that I have found true joy and contentment, I’ve realized that it was all those failed relationships that made my present possible.

So here are 5 reasons why you should be thankful for the bad dates. I’m telling you, even when they hurt, they’re beneficial.

You Learn Something

You rarely learn the big lessons from perfect situations. It’s when things didn’t go the way you wanted them to, that you learn about patience, confidence and positivity. It’s when you’ve been hurt, that you learn about strength, resolve and self-care. So be thankful that you were able to walk away from the bad situations a little smarter, and a whole lot wiser.

You Grow As A Person

The bad situations we’ve experienced shape us in so many ways. We find out something new about ourselves, about what we really want, about what we can really handle and about what we are really willing to put up with. That kind of self-exploration can’t be handed to you, you have to live it.

You Have Some Great Stories

Because, honestly, who doesn’t like a good bad date story? You’ll be the life of every party. You’ll be the one who makes everyone laugh.

You Can Make New Friends

So many people talk about the “friend zone” like it’s a bad thing. Sure, when you’re looking for romance and find friendship instead, that can be a little bit of a bummer. But at the same time, realizing that being “just friends” with someone you didn’t have a spark with can be wonderful. At the end of the day, dating is about meeting new people.

You’ll Experience New Places

Even if a date was horrible and there was zero chemistry, there’s always a chance that the restaurant was amazing and the appetizer you had was life-changing. Trying new places you would never normally try, is one of the best parts of dating, even if the dating isn’t all that great. So sure, even if the date was a dud, at least you can add that fantastic restaurant to your list of favorites.

I know dating can be hard and, because it can be hard, it can be demoralizing. But be grateful for the bad times and the not-so-great dates. They’re preparing you for a life-changing, all-encompassing love. They’re giving you perspective and arming you with life lessons that you wouldn’t have otherwise learned.

Be thankful for the bad dates this holiday season. They’re the reason you’ll eventually have a fantastic one.

Until the next time I kiss and tell,

DatingDivaPonytail

The Seattle Dating Diva