Dear Matchmaker: Is It Too Soon To Say I Want Commitment?

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Dear Matchmaker, 

When is it too soon to talk about the fact that I’m only looking for a long-term relationship?

Thanks, 

Tina

Dear Tina,

Thanks for your question! This type of conversation is important to have at some point when you are dating someone new; however, it’s all about timing.

First and foremost, with a venue like It’s Just Lunch Seattle, the majority of our clients come to us because they are seeking something long-term. My clients are typically relationship minded people or they wouldn’t be interested in investing in the type of process. With that said, it’s definitely not something that you need to discuss on a first date. When you throw out something like, “I’m only interested in finding a long-term relationship” to a guy on a first date – it’s a turn-off and a red flag. Not only will the man feel pressured to live up to the standard that you’re looking for in a life partner, it seems premature to announce that this is your goal – especially on a first date!

Keep relationship objectives in mind at all times, however, keep them internal until you feel a mutual attraction and commitment. You don’t want a relationship with just anyone, right? You don’t have to wait forever, but definitely wait to talk long-term until you start to feel a deeper connection with someone and you know you’re on the same page (or at least the same chapter).

Happy Dating!

-Your It’s Just Lunch Seattle Matchmaker,

sara 2015

Matchmakingprofessional

If you would like to meet Seattle Singles with It’s Just Lunch Seattle contact us at: itsjustlunchseattle.com

If you would like to meet Seattle Singles with IJL Dinner Club contact us at: ijldinnerclub.com

Dear Matchmaker: What Do Men Look For In A Woman?

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Dear Matchmaker, 

When you are interviewing men, what are the top 3 things they tell you that they’re looking for in a woman?

Thanks, 

Barbara

Dear Barbara,

Thanks for your question. I have the pleasure of working with an amazing group of relationship-minded men. Here are the top 3 personality traits that my men are looking for in a long term partner:

  1. Similar Lifestyles – Men want to be with a woman that enjoys some similar lifestyle choices and activities. For example, if he’s leading a really active lifestyle (running, hiking, skiing) it’s typically important for him to be with someone else who enjoys getting out and staying active. I also meet with men that are more focused on cultural activities and they enjoy sharing that with a partner as well.
  2. Fun – Men love to laugh and are typically drawn to women that can smile easily and likes to laugh. Don’t worry ladies – I’m not talking about the “bimbo” type, however, it’s important to let you guard down and be flirty and fun when you have the chance!
  3. Good Communicator – Let’s face it – men always need work on their communication! The good thing with the men that I work with is they typically recognize that this is important in a relationship. They know that they cannot read a woman’s mind and they love it when they are with someone that speaks her mind, has an opinion and can share what is working for her and what’s is not.

Happy Dating!

-Your It’s Just Lunch Seattle Matchmaker,

sara 2015

Matchmakingprofessional

If you would like to meet Seattle Singles with It’s Just Lunch Seattle contact us at: itsjustlunchseattle.com
If you would like to meet Seattle Singles with IJL Dinner Club contact us at: ijldinnerclub.com

Dear Matchmaker: How Do I Get Back In The Dating Game?

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Dear Matchmaker, 

I was married to my High School sweetheart for 17 years. Unfortunately, we divorced 2 years ago. I’m so nervous to start dating again. What should I do?

Thanks, 

Sally

Dear Sally,

Thanks for your question. It is completely normal to feel nervous about dating. Even my most confident clients can feel vulnerable when it comes to something as personal as dating. As you approach the idea of dating again, keep this in mind:

What is the worst thing that can happen? Sure, you’ll meet some men that you’re not interested in at all. You’ll meet some men that you would consider to be better friends than romantic partners. However, most likely, you’ll meet some men that you are interested in getting to know in a more intimate way.

Will dating help you to determine what is most important to you now? Yes, both the successful and unsuccessful dates will help you to fine tune what you’re looking for in a partner.

Are you ready to share your life with someone? In my 11 years of experience as a Matchmaker, I know how important sharing your life with someone is to my clients. It’s nice to have someone to talk to at the end of the day, share stories and experiences and to lean on when times get tough. You may be nervous, but the risk is worth the reward!

Sally, remember that dating is all about creating new opportunity. As I always say, it only takes ONE person to make dating worth it for you. Once you meet him, you’ll forget what it took to get there and you’ll be grateful that you took a leap of faith for yourself!

Happy Dating!

sara 2015

Matchmakingprofessional

If you would like to meet Seattle Singles with It’s Just Lunch Seattle contact us at: itsjustlunchseattle.com
If you would like to meet Seattle Singles with IJL Dinner Club contact us at: ijldinnerclub.com

Dear Matchmaker: What Do Women Want?

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Dear Matchmaker, 

Out of curiosity, what are the top 3 things women tell you that they’re looking for in a partner?

Thanks, 

Randy

Dear Randy,

Thanks for your question. I have the pleasure of working with an amazing group of women and you may be surprised about what is most important to the majority of them! Here are the top 3 personality traits that my women are looking for in a long term partner:

  1. Integrity – Women want to be with a man that has follow-through and does what he says he’ll do. Men, take note – If you say you’ll be meeting at the park at noon for a walk….be there on time! If you say you’ll be able to go home with her for a long weekend to visit the family – make it a priority!
  2. Sense of Humor – This one sounds obvious, but it’s so important to the women that I work with. Like Mr. Big said on Sex in the City, “But the thing is this, after a whileyou just want to be with the one that makes you laugh”. So true, John! ☺
  3. Confidence – I work with a group of women that are independent, driven and intelligent. They want a man that can support them and appreciate their successes (and sometimes failures). Most of the women that I work with don’t come to me asking to meet someone with a specific job or title. Ultimately, they want someone who is confident with who he is and willing to encourage his partner in a loving give and take relationship.

Happy Dating!

-Your It’s Just Lunch Seattle Matchmaker,

sara 2015

Matchmakingprofessional

If you would like to meet Seattle Singles with It’s Just Lunch Seattle contact us at: itsjustlunchseattle.com
If you would like to meet Seattle Singles with IJL Dinner Club contact us at: ijldinnerclub.com

Dear Matchmaker: It’s Too Soon To Share

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Dear Matchmaker, 

I was married for 12 years and I’ve been divorced for about 2 years. Each date I go on, the topic of my last marriage and divorce seem to come up. The men seem interested in finding out why it didn’t work out. I’m not comfortable sharing this type of information on a first date. What is your advice?

Thanks, 

Tricia

Dear Tricia,

Thank you for your question. I agree with how you’re feeling. Past relationships are certainly not an appropriate topic for a first date! Try to reflect back on your dates, and try to pinpoint the exact moment this seems to be happening.

Is your divorce typically coming up as a follow-up question to something you’ve been discussing? If so, steer clear of that conversation.

However, if it seems to be coming up randomly, here’s what I would suggest: Keep it short and sweet. In other words, address and move on! Let your date know that you’ve moved past your divorce and would rather talk about something else. For example:

“You know what, that’s in the past! Tell me more about yourself. What are your plans for this upcoming Fall?”

When the relationship progresses into something that could become exclusive, open up more about your past. However, keep your eyes and heart focused on the future!

Happy Dating!

-Your It’s Just Lunch Seattle Matchmaker,

sara 2015

Matchmakingprofessional

If you would like to meet Seattle Singles with It’s Just Lunch Seattle contact us at: itsjustlunchseattle.com
If you would like to meet Seattle Singles with IJL Dinner Club contact us at: ijldinnerclub.com

Dear Matchmaker: Am I Enough?

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Dear Matchmaker, 

I recently met a fantastic woman named Samantha. She is very warm, upbeat and active. My only concern is that she is a well-respected attorney and I work in sales and marketing. I do fine for myself professionally, but do you think an extremely successful woman like her would be interested in a guy like me?  

Thanks, 

Christopher

Dear Christopher,

Thank you for reaching out! You may be surprised to learn that this is a very common topic with my clients. It’s normal to feel self-conscious when you’re dating someone new. You may find yourself wondering what someone sees in you and doubting yourself. However, most women are not going to judge you based solely on what you do professionally. My most successful *intimidating* women often tell me this:

“I don’t care what he does professionally as long as he is passionate, driven and enjoys what he does”.

The most attractive quality in a partner is confidence. If you are secure with yourself and supportive of your partner’s career and/or success, you’ll have a winning combination!

Happy Dating!

-Your It’s Just Lunch Seattle Matchmaker,

sara 2015

Matchmakingprofessional

If you would like to meet Seattle Singles with It’s Just Lunch Seattle contact us at: itsjustlunchseattle.com
If you would like to meet Seattle Singles with IJL Dinner Club contact us at: ijldinnerclub.com

Dear Matchmaker: Am I Ready To Date Younger Men?

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Dear Matchmaker, 

I’m a 57 year old attractive, active and youthful woman. My friends tell me that I look like I’m 10 years younger. I feel that I should only be dating younger men. Do you agree?

Thanks, 

Pamela

Dear Pamela,

Thank you for reaching out! First and foremost, I’d have to meet with you with you for a face-to-face interview before I could determine the exact age range that I would suggest for you. However, the topic of age is something that I discuss often with my clients.

My advice is to not focus so much on the exact age of a person, but rather how they’ve taken care of themselves, as well as their lifestyle and energy. In general, my suggestion would be to have the broadest age range that you could potentially see working for you.  If you’re comfortable dating younger, that’s great. However, keep in mind that the men you’re dating would need to be interested in meeting an older woman. Furthermore, it’s only fair to give older men the same benefit of doubt that you’re asking from younger men when they meet you. There are absolutely men in their late 50s, 60s and even 70s that are in great shape, active, energetic and healthy!

As I always say, dating is about creating opportunity!  Why limit your prospects by having a narrow age range? You may just surprise yourself and meet an older man that is everything you were hoping for in a partner!

Happy Dating!

-Your It’s Just Lunch Seattle Matchmaker,

sara 2015

Matchmakingprofessional

If you would like to meet Seattle Singles with It’s Just Lunch Seattle contact us at: itsjustlunchseattle.com
If you would like to meet Seattle Singles with IJL Dinner Club contact us at: ijldinnerclub.com